Expectation

I came here again with yet another expectation; expectation that more and more reader will read this blog, expectation that more and more reader will like this blog, expectation that more and more reader will fall in love with me as a writer again, expectation that more and more reader will have lasting impression after reading my blog.

But, my dear friends; honestly speaking expectation hurts a lot, in fact sometimes it even tears apart my inner soul. The expectation is what you think will happen, making you assume it will happen as perfectly as you imagine but then any slight change or minor deviation, in reality, it hurts your heart deeply leaving the ugliest scar to keep you reminding about consequences.

I am not here for blame-game but the harsh truth is, it's wholly the fault of heart and feeling it has developed over a period of time for near-and-dear ones within.  Yes, the stronger the bonding, the more expectation I have; the closer the relationship, the deeper the expectation is and above all, these more and deeper expectations always have equally proportionate inversely effect by wounding my heart.

You need to trust me as I am not saying all this out of my imagination, but I am saying all this out of my experience; the bitter and harsh ones in my life.

The one I am expecting from family and the one, my family expecting from me which in-turn again makes me expect other few things from them; it hard to know that life reveals bitter truth making me unable to cope up with same. The one I am expecting from my friends, but then they show me real face of their personality which throws up their action and thoughts in reality. The one I am expecting from my love; but then again, life strikes me hard when I came to know that the feeling I knew as true love and the feeling I got to knew as real feeling from my love are very different which my heart cannot grasp nor cannot take it within.

The hardest, harsh and most bitter consequences to bear by my heart and soul is from my love; secondly from family and lastly from friends. And yes, it is true as deeper the relation, I got hit to rock bottom harder with the consequences of unfulfilled expectation

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Yes, I am been trying to avoid expecting but that is not the natural me or say that is no way god made me. It is not my fault; its how God had made my heart and filled it with a lot of feeling and relationship within. Yes, I am fed up with the not expecting and then fighting against heart for not to expect and then again having battle with mind and heart and then again yelling within so loud that all thoughts within such that it is not heard by my ears or inner soul and yes, more I try to be natural and try to act normal; more I fall into this trap and weigh myself heavier and heavier beyond my limit and capability.

Expectation vs Reality is the harsh truth; I am still learning and yes, it is true I am still trying to cope up with many of such phase. I am not blaming people for disappointing me. I take the blame on myself for expecting too much. It is rightly said by William Shakespear “Expectation is the root of all heartache” and believe me; this heartache is much more painful than heartbreak.

And lastly “Expectation feeds frustration. It is an unhealthy attachment to people, things, and outcomes. I wish I could control, but couldn’t”