Snippet #2 - Victim of Heart or Acid Attack

Her boyfriend broke-up relationship.

She committed suicide.

World came up with reason as she was a victim of an Acid Attack.

But no one cared for a note,
she left on her study table

Note says
"He loved only my body and not my soul"



#Luvabhi

Snippet #1 "Are You Happy Or Sad?"

“Are you sad or happy?” she asked.

Tears in my eyes confused her as well as me.

P.S. She was leaving aboard for realizing her dreams.

#Luvabhi

Feeling of Life

Hey…

Wassup…

Howz Life?

I am fine until the last question is asked to me. Howz life? because I get drown in deeper thoughts of sea on which a tiny boat ponders over it always about whether to lie or say truth, whether to answer it with fake smile or just ignore it with genuine smile, whether to let that question break me further or let it pass silently without giving damn and yes last but not least; whether to open up to bring it out or let it be closed within to make it stay within.

Finally, I am here, before I could say anything, let me gather all my courage pieces shattered all over the floor; let me fake my smile to stay strong; let me make my eyes ready to face it before my heart begin to pour out and mind to shout out.

Life is a Hell lot of Hungry.

When I try to think straight n positive; it eats up my mind and makes a mess inside it.

When I crave for appreciation or valued; it eats up my effort and makes it look like nothing is great about it.

When I wish for being loved; it eats up the feeling I deserve from other person’s heart and mind.

When I need companion; it eats up the time of another person to make me lonely again.

When I want to be cared; it eats up the space near me making no one come near or even think about me.

When I am ready to do something; it eats up my determination to make me feel helpless and good-for-nothing.

When I have peace at home; it eats up shelter above to throw me out in chaos making me homeless.

Life is a Hell lot of Selfish.

The world can talk whenever they can and whenever they want, but vice versa is not an option.

The world is available to me whenever some work has to be done or they need me, but vice versa is never an option.

The world like me or cares me whenever they feel so; but vice versa is damn big no.

The world can take me on a roller-coaster ride of feelings and motives, but vice versa is not at all possible.

And the list goes on… and on... and on… and life bangs harder every time on each move of moments I live in this world.

Life is Hell Lot of Hungry and Selfish and lot more I could say…

Why I am saying so negative and so agitated? I have many such reasons inside and outside. I have many such incidents piling up one upon another. I have many such situations burdening my shoulder heavier than ever. And yes, I have many such heart-breaks making me feel hollow than vacuum itself is within.

Why I am grunting it out now? I have the only option left to take my negative devil out is here; I have only place left to dump out is here. Here I can be fearless, with no regret or guilt within and yes, faceless to grind all my dying feeling.

There is a lot to speak about; there is a lot to express about and there is a lot to live about, but then, I have got no such world built around, I have got no such soul to mingle around and I have got no such feeling to last around for long.

I know you will hate me more by knowing all this about life. I also know you will be thinking about me twice after knowing the sadistic part of me. Still, I am here not only fighting with life but also with the feeling of living it too. Still, I am here not to please you but also to make you subtract me from the vicious circle of life.

I don’t know… What is tearing me apart inside… Why it is being so suffocated within… How it is going to turn out… When will the battle to live or feeling to live will end…

I am tired of living life. I am tired of my identity and crisis. I may be mocked up or may be pulled down; but then I am tired to prove my existence too. Yes, I am complaining. Yes, I am angry. Yes, I am upset and above all, Yes, I am sad with myself and life within.  Yes, yes and yes… Screamingly Loud YES…

Expectation

I came here again with yet another expectation; expectation that more and more reader will read this blog, expectation that more and more reader will like this blog, expectation that more and more reader will fall in love with me as a writer again, expectation that more and more reader will have lasting impression after reading my blog.

But, my dear friends; honestly speaking expectation hurts a lot, in fact sometimes it even tears apart my inner soul. The expectation is what you think will happen, making you assume it will happen as perfectly as you imagine but then any slight change or minor deviation, in reality, it hurts your heart deeply leaving the ugliest scar to keep you reminding about consequences.

I am not here for blame-game but the harsh truth is, it's wholly the fault of heart and feeling it has developed over a period of time for near-and-dear ones within.  Yes, the stronger the bonding, the more expectation I have; the closer the relationship, the deeper the expectation is and above all, these more and deeper expectations always have equally proportionate inversely effect by wounding my heart.

You need to trust me as I am not saying all this out of my imagination, but I am saying all this out of my experience; the bitter and harsh ones in my life.

The one I am expecting from family and the one, my family expecting from me which in-turn again makes me expect other few things from them; it hard to know that life reveals bitter truth making me unable to cope up with same. The one I am expecting from my friends, but then they show me real face of their personality which throws up their action and thoughts in reality. The one I am expecting from my love; but then again, life strikes me hard when I came to know that the feeling I knew as true love and the feeling I got to knew as real feeling from my love are very different which my heart cannot grasp nor cannot take it within.

The hardest, harsh and most bitter consequences to bear by my heart and soul is from my love; secondly from family and lastly from friends. And yes, it is true as deeper the relation, I got hit to rock bottom harder with the consequences of unfulfilled expectation

.

Yes, I am been trying to avoid expecting but that is not the natural me or say that is no way god made me. It is not my fault; its how God had made my heart and filled it with a lot of feeling and relationship within. Yes, I am fed up with the not expecting and then fighting against heart for not to expect and then again having battle with mind and heart and then again yelling within so loud that all thoughts within such that it is not heard by my ears or inner soul and yes, more I try to be natural and try to act normal; more I fall into this trap and weigh myself heavier and heavier beyond my limit and capability.

Expectation vs Reality is the harsh truth; I am still learning and yes, it is true I am still trying to cope up with many of such phase. I am not blaming people for disappointing me. I take the blame on myself for expecting too much. It is rightly said by William Shakespear “Expectation is the root of all heartache” and believe me; this heartache is much more painful than heartbreak.

And lastly “Expectation feeds frustration. It is an unhealthy attachment to people, things, and outcomes. I wish I could control, but couldn’t” 

Dream

Dream… Dream is what we all see with closed eyes as well as open eyes; Dream is what we all wish and desire for ourselves as well as for our dear ones; Dream is what makes you feel happy, blissful, special as well as haunted, depressed and upset; Dream is what stays in imagination of mind for a long time as well as disappears like a puff in the air within seconds.

And again yes, dream I see would be different than yours; dream rich people see would be different than lesser rich than poor people; dream which a baby see would be different than that of teenager than that of adult than that of old-age people and it also holds true that dream has its own individuality, its own perception, its own meaning and its own sense of uniqueness to that one person who sees it.

Dream of love, Dream of fame, Dream of money, Dream of being successful, Dream of magic, Dream of fantasy, Dream of being like their idol figure, Dream of future as well as of beautiful past, and yes, while reading this, some might have dream of being a writer too. Each one of us has different dreams at a different phase of life and each dream signifies the importance and priority of phase we are going through in life.

Dreams as we see ourselves in leading newspaper and magazines; Dream as we see to believe miracles shown in movies; Dreams as we see to feel the positive vibes from successful person; Dreams as we see to work for turning into reality; Dreams as we see to imagine having perfect life always; and Dreams as we see travelling the most idealistic journey till end.

There are dreams which you wish to dream again and again every night; there are dreams which make you feel excited to wake up; there are dreams which you makes you work harder; there are dreams which make you believe in yourself; there are dreams which you want to achieve in reality and yes, there is dream of all these dreams always.

I am sure many of you, in fact, all of you including me, yes; is and always sees such dreams for ourselves during daytime or night-time; irrespective of time of our dreams, it is for sure makes us feel best interest in our one life which have only one chance to live on earth.

Again irrespective of dreams you see, point here is to believe in your dreams, be determined to turn your dream into reality, work for your own dream else someone else will make you work for their, you have one life and one chance to fulfill your dream and make it true, you can see heaven in dream as well as can create that heavenly paradise on earth too for yourself.

Dreams are not just imagination; dreams are your inner-instinct, your inner-voice, your wish, your imagination of perfect life, your thought-provoking action, your inspiration and aspiration; above all dream is your destiny.

Remember, to see yourself with open eyes in reality same as you see yourself with closed eyes in dreams; you need to work harder than hardest, stay determined and focused till you make it happen in reality.

Lastly,

“Dream is just not a dream; it is one more life we are living for ourselves”